How to look at art (without looking like an idiot)
By Brandon Highwood
We’ve all been there before. Out of place, up a creek, and staring down the barrel of a situation that makes you violently uncomfortable. For some, it’s the overpacked venue of a networking event. For others, it’s that moment when your friends Trojan Horse a casual dinner into an overstimulating game night. And while those two events may cause plenty of discomfort in their own right, they pale in comparison to your first unprepared (and unironic) trip to an art gallery.
Whether it’s a mandatory trip during a semester abroad, an overambitious first date idea, or a hangover-plagued excursion that your boss claims to have told everyone about in the pre-trip kickoff meeting, navigating your way through an art gallery without looking like a walking panic attack is, well, an art form. Knowing that, here’s a list of considerations to help you traverse that gallery feeling more comfortable and confident than Botticelli (famous artist) standing in front of an open canvas.
The Objective is Subjective
First things first, if you find yourself stressing about having the “correct” opinion on anything, don’t. There is no rubric, no answer key, and certainly no explanation as to why the entire building is cold enough to house a perishable food aisle. And guess what? That’s the beauty of it! No explanation means no expectation, so you’re free to let your mind wander and your opinions flow. As with the creative process itself, art appreciation is best carried out with an open mind and a fearless sense of enthusiasm. Get weird with it.
Learn as You Go
Unless you’re a professional within the industry, an art history major, or someone with a rom-com-level crush on the front desk attendant, you probably have little-to-no idea what you’re doing when it comes to identifying the who, what, when, or how of it all. While I’d strongly recommend utilizing a guide, whether that be pre-planned or covertly following 10-12 steps behind the crowd and never making eye contact with the woman in the burgundy vest, there’s nothing wrong with taking the leisurely route of walking your own path and reading the information cards along the journey.
Slow and Steady
Listen, I know that the floors are freshly buffed, that signage is clear as day, and those small clusters of chatty Kathys are just begging to be scooted around, but the key to keeping your cool is to take it slow. There is a lot of art to look at. Like, a lot, a lot. Almost too much, really. That being said, if the casual stroll turns into a steady trot, you’re doing too much.
When in doubt, clasp your hands behind your back, slow your pace by roughly 32%, and use a slow, focused left-to-right scan of the room as you go. This is the “gallery gait,” and it makes even the most clueless of us appear to be well-versed in the act of art browsing.
Lukewarm Takes
If you find yourself trapped in a hotbed of commentary and you’re hunting for a safe one-liner to add to the mix, give these a try:
- “When you think about it, the end goal of any piece is thoughtful discussion.”
- “Picturing the world they lived in, and seeing what they were about to create from it… you really start to see things in a different way.”
- “Inspiring, truly.”
- “The use of color here is incredible.”
- “The feelings that come flooding in… it really is hard to describe.”
- “You look at this… and you could just stand here for hours.”
“You look at this…and you could just stand here for hours.”
“Inspiring, truly.”
On to the Next One
Getting your money’s worth doesn’t mean you need to stop and read every single timeline and information card in the building. Go into this with the understanding that you won’t have an intense, otherworldly connection with every single piece of art displayed in front of you. Find what interests you most, and spend a little extra time there. Think of it like a seven-game series — you only need four to advance.
Trip tip: While you’re there, try taking a top three approach. Find what really speaks to you, study it well, soak it in, and bank it for future reference.
Additional Callouts
You very well may find yourself standing shoulder to shoulder with people who take this experience very seriously. That is not something to make fun of. You may also find yourself standing shoulder to shoulder with people who take themselves far too seriously. That is definitely something to make fun of.
Being in this place is going to make you feel like you’re in a heist movie, and you absolutely will get the urge to blurt out that line from the 2004 Nicolas Cage action thriller National Treasure. There’s no getting around it. You have one — repeat, ONE — free use of the line. Execute it wisely.
Hit the gift shop and snag a coffee mug that reminds your parents of how cultured you are. Remember that sweeping landscape that had you moments away from sobbing? You can probably find that bad boy on a crew-neck sweatshirt!
And that should just about cover it. Long story short, the first art gallery experience is nowhere near as stressful as it sounds. I can assure you that, outside of the tour guide, you likely have the same level of knowledge and experience as everyone else around you. Just free your mind, soak it all in, and never let the tour guide see the whites of your eyes. As for me… I’m off to steal The Declaration of Independence.
